Posts Tagged 'Maureen Dowd'

Amorous Arms of a Goat Devil

goat-devilMaureen Dowd writes a great review of Will Ferrell’s broadway show “You’re Welcome America” doing his Bush impersonation.  In the show Bush “reveals that he did walk in on Cheney once in the basement of the White House locked in the amorous arms of a giant goat devil in a room full of pentagrams. “He looked at me with solid silver glowing orb-like eyes, and his breath had a strong ammonia scent to it,” Ferrell’s W. said. “And he told me in a language that I knew in my heart hadn’t been spoken in a thousand years ‘Pariff Go Lanerff!’ And I just ran.”

After witnessing such a sight, it’s amazing he wasn’t intimidated into a pardon for Scooter Libby.  Today’s NYTimes quotes aides saying that Cheney lobbied fiercely for a pardon and Cheney issued a rare rebuke  in an interview with The Weekly Standard last month that “I strongly believe that he deserved a presidential pardon,” and that “I disagree with President Bush’s decision.”  Other conservative commentators said it was like leaving a soldier on the battlefield.  But, come on, Bush already commuted Libby’s sentence, so the only consequence of his perjury is that he is a convicted felon and therefore can no longer practice law.  Tisk, tisk.

Cynical Choice of Sarah

Maureen Dowd (only my favorite columnist ever) imagines Sarah Palin in a chick-flick where, naturally, McCain chokes on a pretzel and dies on day one:

The movie ends with the former beauty queen shaking out her pinned-up hair, taking off her glasses, slipping on ruby red peep-toe platform heels that reveal a pink French-style pedicure, and facing down Vladimir Putin in an island in the Bering Strait. Putting away her breast pump, she points her rifle and informs him frostily that she has some expertise in Russia because it’s close to Alaska. “Back off, Commie dude,” she says. “I’m a much better shot than Cheney.”

Then she takes off in her seaplane and lands on the White House lawn, near the new ice fishing hole and hockey rink. The “First Dude,” as she calls the hunky Eskimo in the East Wing, waits on his snowmobile with the kids — Track (named after high school track meets), Bristol (after Bristol Bay where they did commercial fishing), Willow (after a community in Alaska), Piper (just a cool name) and Trig (Norse for “strength.”)

“The P.T.A. is great preparation for dealing with the K.G.B.,” President Palin murmurs to Todd, as they kiss in the final scene while she changes Trig’s diaper. “Now that Georgia’s safe, how ’bout I cook you up some caribou hot dogs and moose stew for dinner, babe?”


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